Every day I choose a joy
choose flowers
and smiles...
(TCS)

I remember Pham Trong Cau "distorted" that song by changing the lyrics to: "Every day I only drink once, from dawn until dusk..." then remember Trinh Cong Son wrote "...one afternoon sitting drunk, a life so light, the day passes" then I see that to make the day pass so light sometimes people need a little drunk. Some people are drunk on this, some are drunk on that, but drunk. At the age of early old age, people almost have to be drunk on something if they don't want to... commit suicide. Some people are drunk on... ornamental flowers, every afternoon imitating the green-shirted Tu Ma Giang Chau pruning a flower branch, shaping a green wine jar on a gourd trellis, some people polishing a verse of poetry, some people shouting on the soccer field, and some people are immersed in a glass of wine, gambling. There are good drunkenness and bad drunkenness, of course. Here we are talking about the intoxication, the passion, the hobby of early old age. It seems that at that age, people's hobbies slow down, become more refined, more refined and more settled. Most people do not choose the noisy but choose the quiet, sometimes very alone to listen to the silence around and "silence their life". Many people choose reading books as an elegant, pure pleasure. Ancient books, history, famous people, memoirs seem to be more suitable for early old age than fantasy, action, adventure novels. Of course, it depends on the person, on the personality. Some people are attached to the TV, from one program to another, holding the "remote" to continuously press, changing from one channel to another to the point of becoming a new disease, the "button pressing" disease. Many people who were wild and gallant in their youth suddenly, when they are old, are bored and seek out cultural, elegant pleasures, giving up the drinking parties, hanging out with friends, the noise and bustle. The elderly seem to enjoy listening to concerts, listening to lectures, watching plays, and viewing art and photography exhibitions more. In the past, many entertainment events were organized for men and women separately, but now the elderly can share their joys together, because the pleasures are almost the same, and perhaps partly because the source of hormones has gradually run out, so they are almost identical to each other, no need to flirt anymore to make things more tiring!

But there is also something different. Men often seem to find pleasure in their careers, especially when they are successful, they are willing to devote all their time to their careers, willing to neglect everything. Women are different, after many years of being burdened with family and children, they now have more time to find their own pleasures. Some people like to learn a new skill such as flower arrangement, embroidery, baking, swimming... Generally, at this age, people do not look for something completely new but look for old hobbies and interests from their youth. For example, a person who played table tennis when he was young will now play table tennis instead of tennis. Learning a new skill is of course difficult, especially when he is weak, has a tired back, and has dull joints. This is mainly because people are more confident when reusing their old skills and because they know their value. It seems that at an early age, people pay more attention to how they dress. It's nothing, in the past, when people were young, they could dress however they wanted, whatever looked suitable, and fresh. Now, when they are old, they need to take more care of their clothes to suit their age, to look more mature and youthful, and if they participate in social activities, their clothes are taken care of and selected more carefully. It is not surprising to see a person who is getting old spend time meticulously taking care of their clothes, it seems more "stylish" than before, especially men, who are sometimes wrongly suspected.

Women... getting old are different. When they were young, they seemed to care more about how they dress to be more attractive, but now, they see it as okay, indifferent, often dressing carelessly because they consider themselves old, why bother anymore! However, when they have to dress appropriately for work, for social interactions, they also take great care. Nowadays, thanks to knowing how to choose food, not to get fat, exercising, wearing suitable, elegant clothes, and a little bit of cosmetics, women will look much younger than their age. Men, too, have started to go in and out of beauty salons. There are many types of cosmetics and perfumes for men, there are techniques for skin tightening, face-lifting, and wrinkle removal for both men and women.

Everyone sees a common characteristic of the elderly:... stinginess, sometimes miserliness. It's easy to understand, they no longer have the ability to increase their income as easily as when they were young, they have to save for unexpected and difficult times. Lonely old age, abandoned old age by children is still common, so to have security, they have to save. Men seem to care less about money, they care more about their career and reputation, except for those with unstable jobs, debts, and poor health. Women are different, they care more about the economy, worry about saving, not to spend for themselves but to worry about the future of their children, worry about unforeseen times, and to have more security in old age.

In early old age, people often care about social symbols, because those symbols "tell" their position in the community. If this house has a dream car, then that house must have a suzuki, if this house has a TV, then that house has a radio... Many nouveau riche, playing with money, showing off their wealth in an uncultured way is still common. Of course, most educated people do not do that. Contentment is very necessary to calm the nerves. I love the following "Half Song" (Ban Ban Ca) by Ly Mat Am which Nguyen Hien Le translated (Living Beautifully, Lam Ngu Duong):

I have seen half of this fleeting life
The word "half" has infinite uses
Only when you have enjoyed half of your life
can you fully feel the leisurely joy
Having a garden halfway up the mountain and halfway down the river
Half reading, half farming, half trading
Half being a scholar and half a commoner
Half refined and half crude utensils
Half beautiful and half ugly house
Half new and half old clothes
Half rich and half frugal food
Half simple and half clever wife
Half glorious and half obscure reputation
Half drunken drinking is delicious
Half blooming flowers are beautiful
Boat with half sails raised just don't flip
A hundred years of life is half happy and half miserable
Then enjoying half is more appropriate...

The early old age, around fifty years old as the ancients said, is the age of "knowing one's destiny" which is not wrong. If you don't want to know, you can't. The Creator will give you a blow right away to open your eyes. The proverb says "not yet forty-nine years old, five-three years old has arrived" is like that. Some people get this blow, others get another blow as a warning. Enough. Stop it. Prepare. Uncle LC, a seventy-five-year-old journalist, told me that when he was young, he didn't believe what his grandparents said, but now the more he thinks about it, the more he finds it frighteningly true. It seems that everything has been arranged somewhere, every drink and every meal are predestined. That's why people in their early old age like to seek religion. When they are young, they read Confucius, when they are older, they read Lao Tzu and Trang, when they are older, Lao Tzu and Trang are not enough, they have to be God, Buddha. People like to seek meditation, read meditation, practice meditation. People follow health preservation, practice qigong, try to bring energy into the dantian... in half-lotus, full-lotus positions or something. Some scientists have started to believe in mysticism, something they strongly opposed when they were young. Religion has become a source of comfort and happiness for many people. Some like to go to pagodas, worship Buddha, some like to go to church, pray to God, and people also like to do charity work. But in general, in early old age, people do not cling to rigid dogmas. They can understand more deeply the meaning of Compassion and Charity. People look at life with more sympathy and generosity because they have experienced, accumulated a lot of life experience, they have "know the mandate of heaven".

In the countryside, in the past, when people reached the age of fifty, they had many children and grandchildren, and when they went out, many people called them "grandpa" or "cu" (old man), and whenever there was a festival in the village, they always ate first ("living long, becoming a village elder", "respecting the elderly, achieving longevity"). Many people who are just getting old also try to play the role of old people, speaking and behaving to make themselves look quite funny. However, thanks to socialization according to a long-standing cultural tradition that rarely changes in the countryside, people who are just getting old easily accept and accept their fate. That was in the past. Now the countryside is different. People who are just getting old in the city generally like to participate in some community work, such as joining an association, a club, being a member of a parent-teacher association, the Red Cross, a charity, etc. Thanks to living in such a group, they feel comfortable, at ease, feel that they are still useful to the community, and can still contribute their experiences in this or that field. People who are familiar with social work will adapt easily and be satisfied with this new job, but those who are not familiar with it will not find it easy to participate comfortably. Some people look for friends with similar interests, form small, intimate groups, organize quiet outings, or travel here and there, visit scenic spots, temples is also a very good hobby. At this time, they often go together in small groups instead of following families with many generations like before. In fact, the children have grown up, tend to separate into their own groups and not follow their parents anymore.