Bạn đã từng cố gắng và đã từng thất bại. Điều đó không quan trọng. Hãy tiếp tục cố gắng, tiếp tục thất bại, nhưng hãy thất bại theo cách tốt hơn. (Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.)Samuel Beckett
Cuộc sống xem như chấm dứt vào ngày mà chúng ta bắt đầu im lặng trước những điều đáng nói. (Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. )Martin Luther King Jr.
Đừng làm một tù nhân của quá khứ, hãy trở thành người kiến tạo tương lai. (Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. )Robin Sharma
Thương yêu là phương thuốc diệu kỳ có thể giúp mỗi người chúng ta xoa dịu những nỗi đau của chính mình và mọi người quanh ta.Tủ sách Rộng Mở Tâm Hồn
Thành công là khi bạn đứng dậy nhiều hơn số lần vấp ngã. (Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.)Jon Bon Jovi
Kẻ ngốc nghếch truy tìm hạnh phúc ở xa xôi, người khôn ngoan gieo trồng hạnh phúc ngay dưới chân mình. (The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. )James Oppenheim
Người tốt không cần đến luật pháp để buộc họ làm điều tốt, nhưng kẻ xấu thì luôn muốn tìm cách né tránh pháp luật. (Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.)Plato
Cuộc sống ở thế giới này trở thành nguy hiểm không phải vì những kẻ xấu ác, mà bởi những con người vô cảm không làm bất cứ điều gì trước cái ác. (The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.)Albert Einstein
Kẻ yếu ớt không bao giờ có thể tha thứ. Tha thứ là phẩm chất của người mạnh mẽ. (The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.)Mahatma Gandhi
Bất lương không phải là tin hay không tin, mà bất lương là khi một người xác nhận rằng họ tin vào một điều mà thực sự họ không hề tin. (Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.)Thomas Paine

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An Open Heart
»» Introduction

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CENTRAL PARK, NEW YORK CITY,
August 15,1999

Brothers and sisters, good morning.

I believe that every human being has an innate desire for happiness and does not want to suffer. I also believe that the very purpose of life is to experience this happiness. I believe that each of us has the same potential to develop inner peace and thereby achieve happiness and joy. Whether we are rich or poor, educated or uneducated, black or white, from the East or the West, our potential is equal. We are all the same, mentally and emotionally. Though some of us have larger noses and the color of our skin may differ slightly, physically we are basically the same. The differences are minor. Our mental and emotional similarity is what is important.

We share troublesome emotions as well as the positive ones that bring us inner strength and tranquillity. I think that it is important for us to be aware of our potential and let this inspire our self-confidence. Sometimes we look at the negative side of things and then feel hopeless. This, I think, is a wrong view.

I have no miracle to offer you. If someone has miraculous powers, then I shall seek this person’s help. Frankly, I am skeptical of those who claim extraordinary powers. However, through training our minds, with constant effort, we can change our mental perceptions or mental attitudes. This can make a real difference in our lives.

If we have a positive mental attitude, then even when surrounded by hostility, we shall not lack inner peace. On the other hand, if our mental attitude is more negative, influenced by fear, suspicion, helplessness, or self-loathing, then even when surrounded by our best friends, in a nice atmosphere and comfortable surroundings, we shall not be happy. So, mental attitude is very important: it makes a real difference to our state of happiness.

I think that it is wrong to expect that our problems can be solved by money or material benefit. It is unrealistic to believe that something positive can come about merely from something external. Of course, our material situation is important and helpful to us. However, our inner, mental attitudes are equally important - if not more so. We must learn to steer away from pursuing a life of luxury, as it is an obstacle to our practice.

It sometimes seems to me that it is the fashion for people to put too much emphasis on material development and neglect their inner values. We must therefore develop a better balance between material preoccupations and inner spiritual growth. I think it natural for us to act as social animals. Our good qualities are what I would call true human values. We should work at increasing and sustaining qualities like sharing with one another and caring for one another. We must also respect the rights of others. We thereby recognize that our own future happiness and welfare is dependent on the many other members of our society.

I have been a refugee for the past forty years, with heavy responsibilities. As I look back, my life has not been easy. However, throughout all these years, I learned about compassion, about caring for others. This mental attitude has brought me inner strength. One of my favorite prayers is

So long as space remains,
So long as sentient beings remain,
I will remain,
In order to help, in order to serve,
In order to make my own contribution.

That sort of thinking brings one inner strength and confidence. It has brought purpose to my life. No matter how difficult or complicated things may be, if we have this type of mental attitude, we can have inner peace.

Again, I must emphasize that we are the same! Some of you may have the impression that the Dalai Lama is somehow different. That is absolutely wrong. I am a human being like all of you. We have the same potential.

Spiritual growth need not be based on religious faith. Let us speak of secular ethics.

I believe that the methods by which we increase our altruism, our sense of caring for others and developing the attitude that our own individual concerns are less important than those of others, are common to all major religious traditions. Though we may find differences in philosophical views and rites, the essential message of all religions is very much the same. They all advocate love, compassion, and forgiveness. And even those who do not believe in religion can appreciate the virtues of basic human values.

Since our very existence and well-being are a result of the cooperation and contributions of countless others, we must develop a proper attitude about the way we relate to them. We often tend to forget this basic fact. Today, in our modern global economy, national boundaries are irrelevant. Not only do countries depend upon one another, but so do continents. We are heavily interdependent.

When we look closely at the many problems facing humanity today, we can see that they have been created by us. I am not talking of natural disasters. However, conflicts, bloodshed, problems arising out of nationalism and national boundaries, are all man-made.

If we looked down at the world from space, we would not see any demarcations of national boundaries. We would simply see one small planet, just one. Once we draw a line in the sand, we develop the feeling of “us” and “them.” As this feeling grows, it becomes harder to see the reality of the situation. In many countries in Africa, and recently in some eastern European countries such as the former Yugoslavia, there is great narrow-minded nationalism.

In a sense the concept of “us” and “them” is almost no longer relevant, as our neighbors’ interests are ours as well. Caring for our neighbors’ interests is essentially caring for our own future. Today the reality is simple. In harming our enemy, we are harmed.

I find that because of modern technological evolution and our global economy, and as a result of the great increase in population, our world has greatly changed: it has become much smaller. However, our perceptions have not evolved at the same pace; we continue to cling to old national demarcations and the old feelings of “us” and “them.”

War seems to be part of the history of humanity. As we look at the situation of our planet in the past, countries, regions, and even villages were economically independent of one another. Under those circumstances, the destruction of our enemy might have been a victory for us. There was a relevance to violence and war. However, today we are so interdependent that the concept of war has become outdated. When we face problems or disagreements today, we have to arrive at solutions through dialogue. Dialogue is the only appropriate method. One-sided victory is no longer relevant. We must work to resolve conflicts in a spirit of reconciliation and always keep in mind the interests of others. We cannot destroy our neighbors! We cannot ignore their interests! Doing so would ultimately cause us to suffer. I therefore think that the concept of violence is now unsuitable. Nonviolence is the appropriate method.

Nonviolence does not mean that we remain indifferent to a problem. On the contrary, it is important to be fully engaged. However, we must behave in a way that does not benefit us alone. We must not harm the interests of others. Nonviolence therefore is not merely the absence of violence. It involves a sense of compassion and caring. It is almost a manifestation of compassion. I strongly believe that we must promote such a concept of nonviolence at the level of the family as well as at the national and international levels. Each individual has the ability to contribute to such compassionate nonviolence.

How should we go about this? We can start with ourselves. We must try to develop greater perspective, looking at situations from all angles. Usually when we face problems, we look at them from our own point of view. We even sometimes deliberately ignore other aspects of a situation. This often leads to negative consequences. However, it is very important for us to have a broader perspective.

We must come to realize that others are also part of our society. We can think of our society as a body, with arms and legs as parts of it. Of course, the arm is different from the leg; however, if something happens to the foot, the hand should reach down to help. Similarly, when something is wrong within our society, we must help. Why? Because it is part of the body, it is part of us.

We must also care for our environment. This is our home, our only home! It is true that we hear scientists talk of the possibility of settling on Mars or the moon. If we are able to do so in a feasible, comfortable way, good; but somehow I think it might be difficult. We would need a lot of equipment simply to breathe there. I think our blue planet is very beautiful and dear to us. If we destroy it or if some terrible damage occurs because of our negligence, where would we go? So, taking care of our environment is in our own interest.

Developing a broader view of our situation and expanding our awareness in themselves can bring about a change in our homes. Sometimes, due to a very small matter, a fight starts between a husband and wife, or between a parent and child. If you look at only one aspect of the situation, focusing merely on the immediate problem, then, yes, it really is worth fighting and quarreling. It is even worth divorcing! However, looking at the situation with more perspective, we see that though there is a problem, there is also a common interest. You can come to think, “This is a small problem that I must solve by dialogue, not by drastic measures.” We can thereby develop a nonviolent atmosphere within our own family as well as within our community.

Another problem we face today is the gap between rich and poor. In this great country of America, your forefathers established the concepts of democracy, freedom, liberty, equality, and equal opportunity for every citizen. These are provided for by your wonderful Constitution. However, the number of billionaires in this country is increasing while the poor remain poor, in some cases getting even poorer. This is very unfortunate. On the global level as well, we see rich nations and poor ones. This is also very unfortunate. It is not just morally wrong, but practically it is a source of unrest and trouble that will eventually find its way to our door.

Ever since I was a child, I had often heard about New York. I felt that it must be like heaven, a beautiful city. In 1979, when I first visited New York, at night after having fallen into a nice peaceful sleep, I would be awakened by this noise: Doooooo! Dooooooo! Dooooooooo! Sirens. I realized that there was something wrong here and there, fires and other problems.

Also, one of my elder brothers, who is no longer alive, would tell me of his experiences living in America. He lived a humble life and told me of the troubles, the fears, the killings, theft, and rape that people endured. These are, I think, the result of economic inequality in society. It is only natural that difficulties arise if we must fight day by day in order to survive while another human being, equal to us, is effortlessly living a luxurious life. This is an unhealthy situation; as a result, even the wealthy - the billionaires and millionaires - remain in constant anxiety. I therefore think that this huge gap between rich and poor is very unfortunate.

Some time ago a wealthy Bombay family came to visit me. The grandmother had a strong spiritual inclination and was requesting some sort of blessing from me. I told her, “I cannot bless you. I have no such ability.” And then I told her, “You are from a wealthy family, and this is very fortunate. It is the result of your virtuous deeds in the past. The rich are important members of society. You use capitalist methods in order to accumulate more and more profit. You should now use socialist methods to help provide poor people with education and health.” We must use the dynamic methods of capitalism for making money and then distribute it in a more useful, meaningful way to others. From a moral as well as a practical point of view, this is a much better way of bringing about change in society.

In India there exists a caste system; members of the lowest caste are sometimes referred to as untouchables. In the fifties the late Dr. Bhimrao Ambedkar, a member of this caste and a great lawyer who was India’s first minister of law and the author of the Indian constitution, became a Buddhist. Hundreds of thousands of people followed his example. Though they now consider themselves Buddhists, they continue to live in poverty. Economically, they are extremely poor. I often tell them, “You yourselves must make effort; you must take the initiative, with self-confidence, to bring about changes. You cannot simply blame the members of higher castes for your situation.”

So, for those of you who are poor, those who come from difficult situations, I strongly urge you to work hard, with self-confidence, to make use of your opportunities. The richer people should be more caring toward the poorer ones, and the poor should make every effort, with self-confidence.

A few years ago I visited a poor black family in Soweto, in South Africa. I wished to talk to them casually and inquire about their situation, their way of earning a livelihood, things like that. I began speaking to one man who introduced himself as a teacher. As we talked, we agreed that racial discrimination is very bad. I said that now that black people had equal rights in South Africa, he had new opportunities that he had to make use of by applying effort through education and hard work. He had to develop true equality. The teacher quietly responded with great sadness that he believed the black African brain to be inferior. He said, “We can’t match white people.”

I was shocked and very saddened. If that kind of mental attitude exists, then there is no way of transforming society. Impossible! And so I argued with him. I said, “My own experience and that of my people has not been too different from yours. If we Tibetans have the opportunity, we can develop a very successful human community. We have been refugees in India for the past forty years and have become the most successful refugee community there.” I told him, “We are equal! We have the same potential! We are all human beings! The difference in the color of our skin is minor. Because of past discrimination, you didn’t have opportunities; otherwise, you have the same potential.”

At last, with tears in his eyes, in a whisper he responded, “Now I feel that we are the same. We are the same in being humans; we have the same potential.”

I felt a great relief from my sad discomfort. I felt that I had made a small contribution in transforming one individual’s mind and that I had helped him develop self-confidence, which is the basis of a bright future.

Self-confidence is very important. How do we achieve it? First we must bear in mind that we are equal to all human beings and that we have the same capabilities. If we remain pessimistic, thinking that we cannot succeed, then we aren’t able to evolve. The thought that we cannot compete with others is the first step toward failure.

So, competition engaged in correctly, truthfully, without harming others, using our own legal rights, is the correct way to progress.

Though it is important for us to engage in our lives with self-confidence, we must also distinguish between the negative qualities of conceit or arrogance and those of positive pride or self-confidence. This is also part of training the mind. In my own practice, when I have an arrogant feeling, “Oh, I’m somehow special,” I say to myself. “It is true that I’m a human being and a Buddhist monk. I thereby have a great opportunity to practice the spiritual path leading to Buddhahood.” I then compare myself to a small insect in front of me and think, “This little insect is very weak, with no capacity to think about philosophical matters. It has no ability to develop altruism. In spite of the opportunity I have, I behave in this stupid way.” If I judge myself from this point of view, the insect is definitely more honest and sincere than I am.

Sometimes, when I meet someone and feel that I am a little better than this person, I look for some positive quality of the person. He may have nice hair. I then think, “I am now bald, so from this point of view the person is much better than I am!” We can always find some quality in someone else where we are outshone. This mental habit helps in countering our pride or arrogance.

Sometimes we feel hopeless; we become demoralized, thinking that we are unable to do something. In such situations we should recall the opportunity and potential we have to be successful.

By recognizing that the mind is malleable, we can bring about changes to our attitudes by using different thought processes. If we are behaving arrogantly, we can use the thought process I have just described. If we are overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness or depression, we should grasp every opportunity to improve our situation. This is very helpful.

Human emotions are very powerful and sometimes overwhelm us. This can lead to disasters. Another important practice in training our minds involves distancing ourselves from strong emotions before they arise in us. For example, when we feel anger or hatred, we may think, “Yes, now anger is bringing me more energy, more decisiveness, swifter reactions.” However, when you look closely, you can see that the energy brought about by negative emotions is essentially blind. We find that instead of bringing thoughtful progress, there are many unfortunate repercussions. I doubt whether the energy brought about by negative emotions is really useful. Instead, we should analyze the situation very carefully, and then, with clarity and objectivity, determine that countermeasures are called for. The conviction “I must do something” can give you a powerful sense of purpose. This, I believe, is the basis of a healthier, more useful, and productive energy.

If someone treats us unjustly, we must first analyze the situation. If we feel we can bear the injustice, if the negative consequences of doing so are not too great, then I think it best to accept it. However, if in our judgment, reached with clarity and awareness, we are led to the conclusion that acceptance would bring greater negative consequences, then we must take the appropriate countermeasures. This conclusion should be reached on the basis of clear awareness of the situation and not as a result of anger. I think that anger and hatred actually cause more harm to us than to the person responsible for our problem.

Imagine that your neighbor hates you and is always creating problems for you. If you lose your temper and develop hatred toward him, your digestion is harmed, your sound sleep goes, and you have to start to use tranquilizers and sleeping pills. You then have to increase the dosages of these, which harms your body. Your mood is affected; as a result, your old friends hesitate to visit you. You gradually get more white hair and wrinkles, and you may eventually develop more serious health problems. Then your neighbor is really happy. Without having inflicted any physical harm, he has fulfilled his wish!

If, in spite of his injustices, you remain calm, happy, and peaceful, your health remains strong, you continue to be joyful, and more friends come visit you. Your life becomes more successful. This really brings about worry in your neighbor’s mind. I think that this is the wise way to inflict harm upon your neighbor. I do not mean this as a joke. I have a certain amount of experience here. In spite of some very unfortunate circumstances, I usually remain calm, with a settled peace of mind. I think this is very useful. You must not consider tolerance and patience to be signs of weakness. I consider them signs of strength.

When we are faced with an enemy, a person or group of people wishing us harm, we can view this as an opportunity to develop patience and tolerance. We need these qualities; they are useful to us. And the only occasion we have to develop them is when we are challenged by an enemy. So, from this point of view, our enemy is our guru, our teacher. Irrespective of their motivation, from our point of view enemies are very beneficial, a blessing.

In general, the difficult periods of life provide the best opportunities to gain useful experiences and develop inner strength. In America those members of the younger generation who have such an easy, comfortable life often find it difficult to face even small problems. They immediately start shouting. It is useful to reflect upon the hardships faced by the elder generation of Americans and Europeans, or those endured by your forefathers while settling this land.

I find it wrong that in our modern society we tend to reject people who have committed crimes - prisoners, for example. The result is that often the people themselves lose hope. They lose their sense of responsibility and discipline. The result is more tragedy, more suffering, and more unhappiness for all. I think that it is important for us to convey a clear message to these people: “You are also part of our society. You also have a future. You must, however, transform your mistakes or negative deeds, and should no longer make these mistakes. You must live responsibly as good citizens.”

I also find it very sad when some, such as AIDS patients, are rejected by society. When we come across a part of society that is in a particularly miserable situation, it is a good opportunity to exercise our sense of concern, of caring and compassion. However, I often tell people, “My compassion is just empty words. The late Mother Teresa really implemented compassion!”

Sometimes we ignore people in unfortunate situations. When I travel through India by train, I see poor people and beggars in the stations. I see people ignore them and even bully them. Tears sometimes come to my eyes. What to do? I think that we should all develop the right kind of attitude when we come across such unfortunate situations.

I also feel that too much attachment is not good. Sometimes I find that my Western friends consider attachment to be something very important. It is as if without attachment their lives would be colorless. I think we have to make a distinction between negative desire, or attachment, and the positive quality of love that wishes another person’s happiness. Attachment is biased. It narrows our minds so that we cannot clearly see the reality of a situation, eventually bringing us unnecessary problems. Like the negative emotions of anger and hatred, attachment is destructive. We should try to maintain a greater sense of equanimity. This doesn’t mean that we should have no feelings and be totally indifferent. We can recognize that one thing is good and that another is bad. We should then work to get rid of the bad and possess or increase the good.

There is a Buddhist practice in which one imagines giving joy and the source of all joy to other people, thereby removing all their suffering. Though of course we cannot change their situation, I do feel that in some cases, through a genuine sense of caring and compassion, through our sharing in their plight, our attitude can help alleviate their suffering, if only mentally. However, the main point of this practice is to increase our inner strength and courage.

I have chosen a few lines that I feel would be acceptable to people of all faiths and even to those with no spiritual belief. When reading these lines, if you are a religious practitioner, you can reflect upon the divine form that you worship. A Christian can think of Jesus or God, a Muslim can reflect upon Allah. Then, while reciting these verses, make the commitment to enhance your spiritual values. If you are not religious, you can reflect upon the fact that, fundamentally, all beings are equal to you in their wish for happiness and their desire to overcome suffering. Recognizing this, you make a pledge to develop a good heart. It is most important that we have a warm heart. As long as we are part of human society, it is very important to be a kind, warm-hearted person.

May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy.
May the forlorn find new hope,
Constant happiness and prosperity.
May the frightened cease to be afraid,
And those bound be free.
May the weak find power,
And may their hearts join in friendship.


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